10 Things To Know About Marriage Before Saying “Yes.” – Number 5 Will Shock You
Marriage is a union between two people from different backgrounds, cultures, lifestyles, emotions, beliefs, and so on. It is one of the greatest achievements of a person on earth; in fact, many people work so hard to have a fulfilled marriage life. However, marriage takes a lot more than just “I love him or her.” It is a long life journey that seeks unconditional love and affection.
Before one can be considered ready to get married, he or she must be physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, and financially ready; there is no significant one above the other. Many will consider finances as one of the essential elements before establishing a family.
There are several other reasons people go into marriage, and these vary from one individual to another. These reasons may include but are not limited to recreation, financial gain, and companionship. Before one will consider joining the boat of marriage, certain things must be up in one’s mind.
Getting married is not expected to be enjoyed by the most experienced people or somewhat be suffered by the inexperienced ones. According to the typical saying, “marriage serves different experiences to different people.” Similarly, marriage is expected to provide a specific incident that no one in the first instance will ever predetermine, but this doesn’t mean we need to have a heavenly experience. All you need is to give your whole heart and soul to it and be focused.
With that in mind, there is no point for one to be depressed or feel sad when marriage shows the other side of its experience. Marriage, just like our everyday-to-day life, is like a rollercoaster full of sweet and bitter moments. The experience of being disappointed when things don’t go as you planned will make you feel so devastated and rejected.
It is always best for someone to be prepared to face the realities that marriage will be brought to you and be ready to overcome those challenges as they appear. The excitement of living with your partner in the nearest future can be good if things are well under control, you must also be aware and be ready to face specific facts before considering to accept the ‘ring’ from your partner (spouse). The following are some of these facts:
1. Getting Married because you feel you are in love:
Being in love alone cannot sustain your marriage. The highest period that love is expected to fade away in most marriages is about two to three (2 to 3) years. What will keep the marriage going is the ability to learn to understand each other and show love in the best way that is ok by your spouse. “Love alone is not enough.”
2. Letting go of your Past Experiences with Friends:
Not every man loves to see their spouse hanging out with their friends after their wedding; most prefer to have their partner alone to their selves. Ensure you give a listening ear when you get married to such a person. “Remember to provide a listening heart to your partner’s desires.”
3. Settle your marital disagreements without arguing and inviting a third party:
Disagreement and argument are everyday things in marriage. In the beginning, it might look like you have a perfect marriage with little or no disagreement and controversy at all. Time will only tell if you can maintain to stay that long without such argument. The expectation is that argument and debate will occur in marriage; how you settle your disagreement with your spouse is what matters. “You need to agree to disagree and learn to compromise in your stand.”
4. Be sincere with your apologies for wrongdoing and be willing to change:
The benefits of spouses making sincere apologies for wrongdoing is one of the factors that keep your marriage going. Learn to apologize to your partner, be remorseful about it, and show a willingness to change from such habit is more powerful and effective than mere am sorry. These methods of apology are compelling:
- Be remorseful,
- Accept being wrong,
- Be ready to pay for your wrongdoing,
- Be willing to change your behavior
- Seek forgiveness.
5. Your honeymoon wouldn’t last forever:
The most romantic and love expressive moment is during the honeymoon period. Newly wedded couples enjoyed every minute of their honeymoon, and in fact, it is a moment you wouldn’t ever like to end. But the reality is that your honeymoon wouldn’t last forever. Be ready to adjust your lifestyle immediately after your honeymoon, as the reality of marriage will soon begin to surface. All that matters now is your ability to tolerate and be ready to compromise.
6. Forgiveness is vital:
The best gift of any marriage is forgiveness. A lot will happen in marriage, but what will keep the marriage going is giving each other. A marriage where forgiveness forms the foundation of everything they do will surely be eternal. Be ready to forgive your partner even before they seek your forgiveness.
Conflicts and disagreements will occur in each human connection, and they are unavoidable. We’re all human; therefore, we should expect to step on each other’s toes and have others step on ours as well. There will be conflicts, disputes, malice, and jealousy in any human connection, but love will cover and make up for everything. “Forgiveness is one’s decision to offer grace instead of demanding justice.”
7. Accept whom you marry and never think of changing them:
One bitter truth is that no matter how to add you try to change the lifestyle of your spouse, you might fail in doing so unless they choose to change themselves. So before you go into marriage, be sure you sort out your shortcomings with your partner. As a result, it’s critical to take note of your partner’s weaknesses and discuss them with them. If you’re the one who needs to change, assist them because you won’t be able to once you’re married.
8. Expect some moments of regret:
If only we could know all these will occur when we finally get married, many will think twice before accepting to go into marriage with their partners. The moment of joy will come as well as negative moments, but negative moments bring a lot of regrets, and you will even feel like you never even said yes in the first place to them.
Remember, it is a moment that comes and will surely pass; so take a deep breath and go for fresh air; everything will be fine, and you will have reasons to smile again; bad moments don’t last forever.
9. Resolving common sexual difficulties:
One of the most critical aspects of your marriage is sexual intercourse. It sometimes comes as joy, but it may become punishment in the moment of misunderstanding and grief. It is never a good idea to use sexual acts as a weapon to express your displeasure to your spouse.
Similarly, understand that sexual feelings should be mutual for them to occur. Spouses should only engage in sexual acts they are both comfortable with. Learn how to talk and relate what you want with your partner because their sexual drive may be higher than yours, resulting in repeated requests for sex. It’s now up to you to figure out how to deal with it.
10. Children acting as a barrier between partners:
As the famous saying goes, “Children are the fruits of every marriage.” Every single couple going into marriage always have in mind that they are expected to bear children at some point in time. Most people marry to bear children, and when this happens, they tend to give the children their undivided attention.
Because your attention and energy will be focused on the new family member, you’ll have less time for your partners. This reduces love and could be a barrier in marriage when it is not managed correctly.
Having a talk of the town marriage doesn’t guarantee you good marriage; the essential thing is to stay married. Do you possess all of the qualities that make a good spouse? Do you have all you need to be a successful partner? Do you have plans in place to look after a family?
Being aware of the facts given above can assist you in settling down and having a rethink. Do you want to tie the knot? It would help if you were mindful of these facts to be better prepared.
Marriage is a union of two spirits, but that doesn’t imply there won’t be difficulties, quarrels, or misunderstandings. Arguments are inevitable in any relationship, and because a marriage contains two people, it’s only natural that they have opposing viewpoints and beliefs. One cannot compel the other to submit to their perspective.
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